I’ve always considered myself a healthy individual. I’m Asian by decent so I have a smaller build naturally but have always done my best to keep up my health by exercising and making sure I eat fruits and vegetables. I developed an aversion to sugar because of the terrible headaches they give me and how nauseated I feel after eating sugar. I can eat a bite-sized chocolate and have headaches and nausea so eating too sugar has never been a problem for me.
The only downfall I really have is my love for cheese. My love for cheese usually comes with a lot of carbs and gluten which means my food is full of calories, fat, and carbs. But it all tastes so good, every time.
Earlier this year I found out that I have gallbladder issues. One of the ways to calm down the flare ups is to change your diet. After months of suffering, I decided I really needed to change. I was constantly bloated, had gallbladder pain, nauseated constantly, and was getting to the point that I was dizzy often. The day I almost passed out in the school parking lot during carpool was the day I realized that I needed to change my eating habits.
I started on a Monday and was depressed at just the idea of not enjoying my 4-5 meals a day eating cheese pastas, cheesy breads, pizza, and other high-fatty foods like French fries and tater tots. I tried to make myself feel better by heading to the store and buying a lot of fresh foods I really enjoy but it didn’t help how sad I was.
I hardly ate anything the first few days. It was just too much to handle and it was too sad for me to not be able to eat my beloved foods.
Two days in, I was going crazy. I was sad, depressed, and angry. I had a hard time controlling my emotions. I had to go to the elementary school multiple times that day and I walked in crying every time and walked out with tears in my eyes each time. Nothing intense had happened, I was just emotional.
I yelled at my husband that day which rarely happens. What’s worse, I was in the middle of a very busy parking lot at my son’s soccer practice. I yelled and I didn’t care who heard it.
I had a hard time getting up in the morning. I didn’t answer my phone. I barely got myself out the door to pick up my kids from school.
A few days in I went out to lunch with a friend. She was going through a tough time so I wanted to be there but there was not a single thing at that fast food restaurant that I could eat. French fries, cheesy foods, and high-fatty red meat were all over that place so I sat and watched as everyone else ate food while I sat sad and depressed.
The next day, my parents wanted to take us to dinner and the kids chose Chick-fil-A. I normally love that place but I was sad about the place. I had a side salad which ended up being perfect for my dinner but I missed the fries and frosted lemonade I normally get.
By the next Sunday, things were finally started to look up. I was starting to enjoy the food I was eating, I was less emotional, and less angry.
The thing I have learned from this is that food addiction is real and powerful. I had no idea that breaking my habit of eating certain foods would be so painful. I had no idea that it would be such a big deal and contain so many emotions. But it was and it did.
If you plan to go through something like this, I suggest letting loved ones know ahead of time so they can help you through the process.
It took me about 3 weeks to enjoy my new eating habits and get back to my normal self. All I know is that I never want to go through this again.